If any of you counted how many days since my last update  (approximately 145 days), you’d think that the daffodils I ingested in my last post actually did kill me.

But lo! They did not! I am alive and well and a new business owner, to boot! Updates are forthcoming…I have a lot of things I want to say about the developments in Ye Olde Personalle Life, which include, among other things, rampant gardening, a food truck, adventures in serving hamburgers to the masses, a vineyard, and…well…today’s topic.

My Super Power.

If any of you have used even an ounce of social media lately, you’ve probably heard about the Super Moon. The most recent Super Moon, that is, which apparently rose on the 14th of November, and won’t be seen again for seventy years. So like, it’s really important because we’ll all be DEAD the next  time it comes around.

I should add that I feel like these super-rare super moons come about quite often, or maybe I’m just thinking of meteoroid showers or something. It also irks me that Facebook now advises us to “take a step outside and see for yourself!” but, that’s for another time. (At least it doesn’t say “BECAUSE THE NEXT TIME IT COMES AROUND YOU’LL BE DEAD”.)

The past five or so days have seen some odd communication patterns. A lot of people I’ve reached out to this past week have expressed shock or even relief–“Wow, how did you know I needed to hear from you?” and “Man, I really needed someone to reach out to me” and “Dude, I was JUST doing [thing I had randomly texted about for the first time in my entire life]”. It’s whatever–it could be the moon, or it could be life, or it could be flukes, or it could be nothing.

When super moons like these rise...get ready for the weird. Photo Credit: mirror.co.uk

When super moons like these rise…get ready for the weird. Photo Credit: mirror.co.uk

But there is a certain part of me that likes to get caught up in the whirly-swirls of the SuPeR mOoN! When people whisper reverently about the connectivity and the energy and the high this and the intense that…well, fuck. Maybe I’m feeling it too. Maybe it could be.

Well today, I found out–it IS the Super Moon. Because I have a super power.

I have proof.

It literally knocked on my door.

LET ME SET THE SCENE. For the past six months or so, I’ve been vaguely discontent with my internet provider. I pay way more per month than what I should, especially for sub-standard internet performance (i.e. One person watching Netflix will make websites slow to load elsewhere).  I’ve called in to complain and receive help a number of times. It never ends well. (In fact, it usually ends with my saying “IN THIS DAY AND AGE, I SHOULD BE ABLE TO WATCH NETFLIX AND GOOGLE SOMETHING, FOR GOD’S SAKE”.)

High-Speed Internet

When my bill went up by $20 a couple months ago, I really began to question my commitment to buying local when it came to internet. Should I really pay SO much money and be SO irritated by this? Especially when I work from HOME and rely on this crap?

So when my bill arrived today, I circled back to the question for the millionth time: do I stay or do I go? I pulled up a quick google search to find other high-speed internet providers in my area (thank God nobody was watching Netflix at the same time!). AT&T danced in the back of my head, as it has for a couple months now. But I just haven’t been able to take the plunge. There’s something about it that just feels…distant. Unfeeling. Too big for my britches.

I went to AT&T’s website, briefly. Then, in a fit of laziness, I said to myself, “Eh. Let’s just pay another month. I’ll decide in the interim.”

So I closed AT&T’s website and went to go pay my internet bill, like a good loyal pushover.

As I began to enter my billing information, someone knocked on my door.

I huffed, as I usually do when I get random knocks on my door during my work day. I hopped up to answer it. An unknown guy my age looked back at me, dressed in khakis and a blue polo. Inwardly, I groaned. This had to be one of the random sales calls I get from time to time…where they show up and ask me if I’m happy with my cable provider and I tell them I don’t watch TV and they stumble away, dumbfounded.

But he had no clipboard. And he looked pretty normal. And then he asked me, “Hey, are you an AT&T customer?”

I blinked at him, the words knocking around in my skull like pinballs. Say what? “Um…no. I’m not.”

“Oh, okay. I was just in the neighborhood because there were some complaints about slow internet, things not loading or streaming well, pixelated images…I wanted to check it out.” He offered a smile. “If that’s not you then sorry to bother.”

I blinked at him again. This had to be a joke. He couldn’t have…known, right? “Uh…well, actually, I HAVE been complaining of those things, except with a different company.”

I told him about my angst, and my needs, and he politely and helpfully told me about some of the packages AT&T could offer, even though he wasn’t the guy who could set me up for it. Wasn’t pushy, wasn’t making me sign anything or offer half of a down payment.

And then I told him: “This is actually super weird. I was just researching new internet providers three minutes before you knocked. AT&T being one of them.”

“That’s crazy,” he said.

“And I was literally just about to pay for another month of internet the actual second you knocked,” I added.

This time, he laughed. “I can’t believe it.”

“You intervened.” I swallowed hard, peering up into the sky. “It’s gotta be the full moon.” I couldn’t see it anywhere, but it was lurking. It had to be. Off yonder horizon, penetrating the world with its super powers. Soaking us to the bone.

Some people might talk about the connectivity, or the energy, or the high this or the intense that.

But me? I can manifest a new internet provider like that when the moon is right.

Three hours (and a lot of super moon angst) after the rep’s unexpected (but totally fated?? cosmic?? pre-designed??) arrival, I’m a new AT&T customer.

We all have our super powers. You just gotta recognize ’em when they show up.

(…Though really, maybe writing is my real super power, because this full moon got me back to my blog.)